I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Randomize
