They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
