the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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