K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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