So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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