Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
