i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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