normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize