No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
