so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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