pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
