i was born a porn star she said
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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