I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This baby is an asshole
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
