Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
