Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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