girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
