And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
