Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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