Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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