Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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