i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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