I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you told grandpa to call you daddy
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
