i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
