remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
