Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
