Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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