Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
