walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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