Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You're like the curious george of whores
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
