I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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