so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
