ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
