just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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