i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
