Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
