I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize