i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
