I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
