Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize