After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
