How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
