idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
