Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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