So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
