So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
