she is the kim kardashian of front butts
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize