i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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