So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
