I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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