I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
