therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
