so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
