Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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