Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
