At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
