Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
