i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
