I cannot find my penis.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
These tits shall not be calmed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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